大家好！(Hello Everyone) So week 3 officially ended on Saturday/Sunday. It was a very long week in which many events occurred, so I’ve decided to split the week in half for time reasons and ease of reading. I’ve only been here for 3 weeks, but the third week, by far was the hardest. Let’s get into itttttttt.

So, at the end of week 2 I said that I couldn’t remember what I did no Sunday and that is was probably lazy. The lie detector determined that: that was a lie. It wasn’t actually a lie, but rather my inconsistent memory derping on me again. Like 2 days after writing that post I remembered that I spent the whole day SHOPPING. Since shopping is clearly a very important aspect to travel and Taiwan in general, I’ going to write a separate post about Taiwan shopping and fashion. For now, just know that I spent 7 hours shopping and I was pooped and broke afterward. That, ladies and gentlemen, was my Sunday.

MONDAY: Again: no classes on Monday. I’m pretty sure I went to the gym (gotta get buff) and then went to go teach some 7th graders English! The university that I attend is named NCCU. There’s also a NCCU affiliated high school. I’m not quite sure what the exact grade range is at this school because schools work a little differently over here, but there’s at least a bunch of 7th graders. There’s only about 10 in my class. 5 girls and 5 boys. The boys are rowdy of course, my compared to some of the other classes, they’re little angels. We played hangman with the words being US states. It was super easy because this one girl’s English is really good and the rest of them have decent English, but it was only for an hour and they seemed to have fun.

TUESDAY: Wow. Week 3 was the hardest week but Tuesday, 3/05/2019 was the hardest day I’ve had in Taiwan, YET. As I’ve mentioned before, I have a pretty mild case of social anxiety. I worry a lot and have a hard time communicating with people. I often worry about many things, not just social interactions. As a pre-med student who attends a very prestigious state-related institution, I have to compete with a lot of people and am often times told that I’m not good enough. In addition to that I am young. I am black. I am a woman. This makes me have to work x3 sometimes x4 times harder than everyone else I am usually pretty good at pushing these bad thoughts out of my head and keeping my eye on the prize. (MY MEDICAL LICENSE WOOP WOOP) But sometimes these doubts and worries get into my mind and I start to worry. At first, I thought that my worrying was fine and that my anxiety was manageable and I could figure it out on my own. This is one of my personal flaws. I think I can do everything alone without help from anyone. (This is partially due to social anxiety and thinking everyone hates me!) However, on Tuesday, I started to worry and I literally could not stop. I don’t even know how it started, but I know what it turned into. I worried about not getting into the class I wanted. I worried about where I was going to work over the summer. I applied for the research award but still hadn’t heard a reply. I wouldn’t be returning until mid-summer so finding a job: especially an internship would be near impossible. I never finished my practical so I’m still not an EMT. I’m going to be a senior and don’t know what I want to do after I graduate. I really want a puppy for graduation, but since I don’t know what I’m doing/living, I can plan for a lil’ baby. If I move away to teach, how long would it be for? Should I consider a Fullbright? My grades suck so should I get a master’s or do a post-bacc program? The MCAT is really hard, I didn’t do well in any of my science classes and I am terrible at standardized testing.

All of these negatives thoughts and more just kept coming. I left my dorm and went down the mountain to eat. Even though this stuff was going through my head I thought I could get over it and get some work done. I went to the library to see the kind of study environment that was there. Nothing I couldn’t use, but there were no outlets for me to plug my laptop into so I knew that I probably wouldn’t be there too long. I tried to get some work done but all I could do was worry about all of these things and I was on the verge of a full-blown anxiety attack. I didn’t want to break down in the middle of the library, so I decided to leave and go back to my dorm and take a nap. Sleep was the only thing that I could think of that would allow me to stop thinking/worrying so I was asleep for 3 hrs. I had Chinese class at 5 so I went to that. It surprisingly went by very quickly even though everything we were doing was review. It was fun, I really like my teacher. It was a good distraction. Afterwards, I just grabbed a quick dinner and went back to my room. I decided to be productive and do what I wanted to do earlier that day; get some work done. While this day sucked, it made me realize that I don’t think that I just have social anxiety, I think it’s just generalized anxiety all around. Part of the productivity of that night was looking into possible English-speaking therapists in Taiwan if it came to that as well as some useful techniques to help with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. (GAD) It was a goal of mine to work on myself and some of the less than pleasant aspects of myself while I am away, so that’s what I’ve been and will continue doing.

•WEDNESDAY: I had a really bad day on Tuesday as a result of me not being able to get out of my bed, I didn’t go to the gym. Since I don’t have class until 4 on Wednesdays, the gym was my #1 priority! I went to grab something small to eat so that I’d be energized for my workout. I lollygagged for about a half hour then went to the gym for 2 hours as usual and had a great workout. Now that I’m talking about, I remember sometime earlier in this week (maybe Monday?) or last week I tried to max out on squats, but again I have a hard time asking for help and I didn’t have a spotter. My legs buckled and I fell backward (you’re supposed to fall forward) so the full 170 lbs. of weight fell on my neck the crashed to the ground. It was really loud, and I just got up super quick because of course everyone was staring, and I wanted to show that I was okay. Despite getting up even though I didn’t know if I was okay, I was, in fact, okay. It was at that time that I learned that if I wanted to get stronger AND be safe, I had to ask a stranger to be my spotter. (which I did later in the week) Sometimes you don’t learn your lesson until your almost paralyze yourself! I would say that’s ok, but it’s not so always asked for a spotter, kiddos. Even strangers in the gym care about your wellbeing. As I said my actual work out on Wednesday was good. I then went back to my dorm took a shower. After that shower I went to a potential class in case the schedule I wanted didn’t work out. There’s no real point into saying much about this class because I didn’t end up actually registering but I thought it was worth a mention. The whole process will be explianed in Week 3 Pt. 2.

• Before the class that I was actually registered for, I decided to check out the activities fair. Unfortunately, the sun was out, and the weather was beautiful on Tuesday- the day that I spent mostly indoors. On Wednesday it was rainy and sad. I decided to check out the activities fair (which as outside) anyways because I’d been talking about potential clubs and activities for weeks because I need something to do with my free time. I looked at cheerleading club, but unfortunately, I had class during practice time, so I didn’t ask for too much information from them. I talked to ballroom dance club, Animal health club, and a children’s camp club. I got some flyers (all in Chinese) that I just sent to my CIEE buddies and they helped to translate them. Ballroom dance is self-explanatory. The Animal Health club goes to veterinary clinics a few times over the course of the semester and helps stray dogs and cats to get neutered and spayed. Help as in actually aid in surgery and recovery. (We love a country that lets untrained students with a simple love of animals, aid in surgical procedures) Their welcome party was next Thursday though, so I had some time for that one. I found out that the kid’s camp club was primarily done over the summer, so I decided to drop that idea because I’m already going to be busy and not even present for the entire summer. I had a good time at the fair and eventually and went to my Social Media and the Digital Narrative class. I didn’t read the reading which actually was not relevant nor necessary to the class that week. We got assigned groups, so I met some people that I haven’t seen outside of class but if I do hopefully I’ll have the guts to say hi. It was boring, I barely paid attention but still rose my hand and said something very general about the one part of the movie that I listened to. This has been working well so far because my professor knows my name (and likes me maybe?) because I participate more than most even though I’m never on task. This trick usually works with most professors in most classes. In my 6 semesters, it has proven to be one of my most useful tools. Wednesday night I went to Ballroom dancing club and had a blast! Took 2.5 hours to learn to short and very simple routines, but idk, you guys might see me on the next season of World of Dance. Derek Hough, I AM COMING FOR YOU.

College tip: DO NOT answer right or wrong questions out loud. (whisper it or tell your friend next to you.) A professor isn’t going to remember that you answered “yes” or a multiple-choice question, or a calculation correctly. If there is a right answer, it is usually expected that you get the right answer. It’s not surprising or impressive. Instead you should participate in discussions: where anything you say will sound insightful. The professor will just build on it or reword it to something similar that makes sense even if what you said had nothing to do with the discussion or is completely incoherent. It’s always a win.

Well this is the end of the beginning of my terrible awful week, but more is on its way!