I usually smile in all of my pictures bc my mom paid my orthodontist a lot of money for my teeth to look good.
But if I’m being honest, even with all the places I’ve been privileged enough to go and all the things I’ve been able to do, I’m not always happy and I’ve been having a pretty rough semester. Traveling has been my biggest- and best distraction.
I struggle with medium general anxiety. My biggest goal for the last 2 years has been self-awareness and actively working on the things I struggle with. In social situations my general anxiety is exacerbated and it can get really hard for me to communicate effectively. It’s always manageable but at home it’s easier because I have a support system of people that love, and guide me.
Going abroad with a relatively unknown program and a group of people from entirely different states was one of the hardest decisions I’d ever made. I was going to be REALLY far from home and there was no one coming with me that even knew the atmosphere that I was coming from. One of my specific study abroad goals was to make friends with my new group and hopefully build a support system that was a little more accessible.
Unfortunately the opposite of this happened and I actually ended up being outcasted from the rest of the Americans in my program with very few of them even bothering to say hello.
I didn’t want to let this define me but it’s also hard to constantly be around triggers that make you feel bad about yourself when you’re supposed to be having the time of your life.
My solution is to travel. I distract myself with greenery, beaches and lots of animals. I usually spend more money than I’d like to but it’s always worth it.
I love to travel and share my experiences with my friends and family on social media. I’m told “You look so happy!” Which I am, but just not all the time- which is what everyone deduces from me smiling on my Instagram page.
I love my adventures and the joy they bring me but it’s important to recognize that people have more going on in their lives than what they show you.
But my mom paid good money for these teeth so catch me smiling even when I’m alone 🤟🏾
Friday and Saturday of week 3 and all of week 4 weren’t too exciting so, we’re just going to put everything together!
Week 3 Friday: I may or may not have the best temper, and I don’t let things go too easy. As a result of this, I’m still very upset in the morning. My roommate said nothing to me, so I said nothing to her. I just spend the day trying to figure out my current class schedule, planning classes at Pitt next semester, working on my Chinese homework, and exploring google flights for more places to go (my favorite past time.) I really just got a lot of work done on Friday. Since I had just made some new friends the same day, I had lost some, I decided to reach out. I asked my new friends if they were doing anything fun on Saturday and if I could come. They said yes. They were going to Jiufen. I got excited to go out with my new friends and explore a new part of Taiwan.
Week 3 Saturday: I went to Jiufen! It was raining that day, but also hot. I was a little late going down the mountain. I knew I’d probably be taking pictures, so I wanted to make sure I was practical and cute. Had to make sure to hit the double whammy. It took a while to get there. We had to take a public bus, then the train. then another public bus (but it looked a felt like a charter bus.) It took about 2 hrs. to get there by public transportation. and was a little less than 150 NT$ which is about $5 USD. I’m going to be honest and say that I thought I was going to die a few times, but I have what I like to call transportation-induced narcolepsy. I always get so tired when someone is driving me around. The roads were slippery, we were up on the mountains, and they bus we were on was big and had to make some sharp turns. I was fine though. Thank goodness for sleep. I think it solves all problems. When we got there, we didn’t do anything other than eat, drink, and walk around, but that’s all you really do anywhere in Taiwan. It was extremely foggy, but the scenery was still breathtaking. There is so much greenery and fresh air in Taiwan because of the lack of development on the island. I have a Taiwanese friend who would vehemently disagree with that statement, but he’s a whole other story. I drank so tasty Jasmine tea right out of a teapot, ate yummy Taro Balls (get the hot ones not the cold ones), had some good 小笼包, tasted a mountain of ice cream and you guys….. I did it. I ate a piece of intestines. I already don’t like spicy food and don’t drink milk tea. I really don’t like being THAT American that’s not open to trying new things, so I tried the intestines just like I tried the stinky tofu. As I suspected, I didn’t like it, so at least I can say I’ve tried it and don’t like it as opposed to me refusing to eat it. We sat and ate some other stuff, took more pictures, and waited a lot. There were a million Japanese and Korean tourists there so we would all me walking in these narrow outdoor stairwells and streets, but people would stop to take a picture every 10 steps, and there’s no room to go around them, so it took forever to get any one place. One of the friends I made is actually going to Bali the same time I am so we’re going to meet up and hang out. I’m excited! Over all, I had a great time and was excited to meet some new people!
Week 4 Sunday: I went on a date with two tinder guys. FYI: Hookup culture is very different in Taiwan and Tinder works differently. While some people are on there for the traditional purposes of the app, several Taiwanese people are on there to meet foreigners and make friends: which is why I downloaded it again. I met this one Taiwanese guy that lived in Seattle for a while. His English is really good, and while he’s a character, he’s cool for the most part. This is the guy that thinks Taiwanese air quality is bad, smh. However, he did take me to this amazing Beef Noodle Shop: 老外一品牛肉面 in the Zhongshan district. It’s Taiwanese beef noodles cooked by a Persian chef who came to Taiwan a brick ago, speaks perfect Chinese and is married to a Taiwanese woman. When I tell those noodles were BIG POPPIN! Whew Chile, it was like it wasn’t spicy, but it was spiced, and I felt like the beef was so fresh, the owner had a butcher shop in the back. Those noodles, and his bone soup, and his dumplings are all so delicious. This man has cultural appreciation down to a TEE. It’s also super affordable, only around 135 NT$. The closest MRT station is the Xingtian temple station. Go go go!!! After we were done eating, he drove me to my next stop for date #2. Hehehe yes, I am a finesser like that. The other guy confused me and is boring so we’re not even going to talk about that one. I will say that I had to buy my own drink and it was like 200 NT$ for a lemon drop that tasted like lemonade with no alcohol. A LEMON DROP IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHOT. At least I learned not to go back to that bar or text that guy again. Neither of them is worth my time. We love a good learning experience. Still haven’t spoken to my roommate and I just leave the room because #1 when I’m mad, I try to remove myself from the situation because that person’s presence just makes me madder and #2, I never get any work done in my room.
The rest of the week: I don’t remember what happened on what day and it doesn’t really matter so I’m just gonna word vomit here. I went to one of the cultural ambassador’s hip hop dance class. I can’t hip hop dance for my life, however it was fun to watch everyone else get really into it.
I got a ton of fricking mosquito bites in the two days that it was really warm, and the sun was out. Surprisingly none on my arms, but ya girl decided to wear a dress and shorts so there were 29 in total on my legs.
My roommate and I didn’t talk the entire week until Thursday when she said she was moving out, but she wanted us to be cool. At this point I wasn’t made anymore so I was super open when she asked to talk, because I was going to ask her the same thing the next day. She said she didn’t really realize what happened, just that I wasn’t in the room and wasn’t talking to her, so she felt the tension. (I also did something else that was slightly petty. We all have minor slip-ups that resemble to our younger, less-wise selves) Now mind you, she hadn’t said anything to me either, but this was forgiveness time, not argument time. I told her the situation through my eyes, and she told me her side- where she basically said that she didn’t know what was going on, which is dumb because she was standing there the whole time and she could’ve asked me at any point buuuuuuut NO DRAMA. I have a class with this girl 6 hours a week and we’re going to be the only ones that are here in June. (Even though that won’t make a difference for me because everyone has already been excluding me from everything for the last week) Ok! I’m done being shady! Sometimes you just gotta get these things out ya know. Also, this is a personal blog, not a super professional one. I make lots of mistakes, and I’m documenting them all here, so I learn from them. One of my biggest goals over the past year and a half and for this trip has been self-growth especially regarding communication and destructive behaviors. My current me is less shady and less petty that previous me and hopefully future me can cut all of that bad stuff out in due time, but for now a bit of shade might be thrown out here and there.
My old roomie moved in down the hall with one of the CIEE ICLC girls. She is doing the academic year program instead of the semester program. I don’t know if that has anything to do with her not getting a roommate at first, but it might. Apparently, she was getting a roommate soon, so now I’m just getting whatever roommate she was going to get. I’m nervous because, this person could be any student at NCCU. I highly doubt that it’s an international student, because the majority of international students have their housing situation settled long before they even come to Taiwan. It’s most likely going to be a Taiwanese (or maybe another nationality) girl that straight up attends NCCU. The nervousness stems from the possibility that this person might not speak English. I’m sure you can imagine possible problems that might arise when you and the person you’re sharing a room and bathroom with can’t even speak the same language. I went to April to ask if I could move to I-house or possibly get a single room. I knew both of them were long shots, but it never hurts to ask. I-house was full with an already long waitlist as expected, and apparently single rooms are only for Doctoral Students. The doctoral student thing doesn’t make any sense to me because why would a person in the late twenties want to be living in a college dorm, but NCCU is far from everything. I still don’t get it, but alas, it is a battle that I am not equipped nor willing to fight. I also don’t get why someone would be moving in a dorm 1 month after school starts but apparently there’s a long waiting list. That doesn’t make any sense to me either though, because if there’s a long waiting list for the dorms too, then why didn’t the other CIEE girl from before not have a roommate? This are all questions I have and have thought about, but I just take everything day by day and hope that I won’t get another roommate. For some reason, I have a gut feeling that that’s not gonna happen and I will get another one, so I’m keeping all of my stuff in my closet and on my side. Whether I do or don’t get another roommate I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts, and if it has to end, I’ll try to be friends with her and make the best out of the situation.
Saturday was our Scavenger hunt! We went around the city and solved little puzzles and ate famous food and got good bubble tea. Ngl, I was lowkey tired and hangry the whole time, but I was putting in SO much effort to be happy and have a good time because one of the ambassadors, Ian worked really hard to put it all together and I didn’t want to bring anyone else down just because I was a grump. Fun fact: It rained basically all of weeks 3 & 4, so it was real gloomy which I think contributed to my grouchiness in these weeks. I do, however, feel like I am more naturally grouchy than most people. I do not know why. Maybe I watch too many Oscar the grouch scenes from Sesame street and also The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland was one of lil’ Brit’s favorite movies. I dare you to ask my mother how many times she’s seen that movie. If you triple it, that’s probably my watch number. Watch your children watch people, it could model their whole life. Anyways, we went to 3 different places: Gongguan (which I’ve been to quite a few times), Dongmen, and Raohe night market. I’ll detail all of my awesome food in my food post that will be coming in the next week or two so stay tuned. It was beautiful, again I had fun. It was a really good ending to a mediocre week.
Don’t forget to use the fund Widgets at the top! Are you from another country? The google translate button translates the entire page. The calendar counting down the days until I come home. Recent Comments show what are people are telling me and asking me!
There’s also a social media button where you can donate to my gofundme and connect with me on most forms of social media. HMU!
Thursday of Week 3 needs its own post! It was a VERY long day to say the least.
This day was never going to be good. I could feel it in my bones. I have to tell you some background. So, the enrollment system here is weird and confusing. I’d already be registered for 2 of my classes but I was still waiting to get into one of them. If I’d gotten into that class everything would work out fine. I’d have 2 classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1 class on Wednesday and no class on Mondays or Fridays. The only problem was that the class that I wanted to get into was full. I was number 41 on the waitlist (waitlist here works differently, but why in the world are there so many spots?) and I’d emailed the professor about getting added into the class manually but never got a reply. At NCCU if you aren’t added to a class through normal means, you can just show up and have the teacher sign a form that says you can manually add the class. So, this is what I did. However, since I didn’t receive and email from that professor, I had a contingency plan in place. I usually have contingency plans for things that are important to me. Things never go right the first time so, PLAN, PLAN AGAIN.
The specifics of my contingency plan are confusing so I won’t detail the whole process, but I will tell you the SLEW of extra classes that I had to attend this week. I went to that class on Wednesday that I mentioned. It’s a southeastern religion class. It was in the morning, which of course was not ideal since I had to go to the gym before. I went to that class and it was boring as heck. #1 Nothing I am studying has anything to do with southern Asia. I’m definitely an eastern Asia kind of gyal. #2 There were lots of grad students in this class which means lots of work. #3 Everything was basically discussion, based on the reading that I knew nothing about. It was also just discussion for 3 hours straight. Can you pay attention to people flat out talking for 3 hours? (with only a 7 min. break halfway through) Because I most certainly cannot. I was just on my laptop for most of the class doing who knows what. I asked her to sign my add form (just as a precaution) but she almost didn’t sign it! She said there were lots of people in the class and her feedback wouldn’t be as valuable if she had a million papers to grade. While I understand this, I’m also like “LET ME IN YOUR CLASS.” I didn’t actually say that, I kind of just stared at her until she agreed to sign my paper. I told her that I wasn’t absolutely sure if I was joining in the first place. She’s also the one that decided to make the class write those long papers. Don’t punish me because you played yourself! Jkjk, she’s the one that set the limit for the amount of people that could be in the class because she knew her limits but nevertheless decided to sign my paper. Even though I’m not taking your class Dr. Work- you da bomb! So that was a contingency class on Wednesday. I had 2 of them on Thursday.
So, my first dilemma of day occurred at approximately 9:10 am on that rainy Thursday morning. Now one of the classes that I am already registered for was at 9 am on Thursday morning. It was actually what I predicted to the favorite of my 4 classes: Popular religion in Taiwan. This would also be the first week of Thursday and Friday classes since there was a holiday on Thursday and Friday of the previous week/ first week of classes. I had to forgo my Popular Religion class for a contingency class: Globalization and Public Policy. Now, I didn’t want to take this class at all, but I was panicking in case I didn’t get into the class I was waitlisted for. (Art, Society & Popular Culture) I woke up at 7:30 to go to this 9:00 class and see what it was about. So, I get to the building it is in, but whoops. For some reason, someone decided to create 2 different buildings, but join them together for 7 of the like 18 something floors and call them both the General Studies building. One is just the “north building” and the other is the “south building.” This is where I really got screwed over y’all. If you know me, you know that I have an utterly disastrous sense of direction. If you don’t know me, my sense of direction is TERRIBLE, as is both my short term and long-term memory. Please don’t say that I’m too young to have memory problems. I’ve heard it all before. Just add it on to my short list of developmental defects. (lisp, duck feet, misaligned knees, double hand tremor… etc.) (All of these things are super minor and I’ve learned to live/ hide all of them, so I feel like defect is a bit strong of a word) I’d already attended 2 classes in the north building while I’d never had any in the south so you’d think I’d go to the north building. Even though it was against my better judgement and experience, I went to the south building. I went to the floor it was supposed to be on, but the majority of the floor was dark. I started walking around like a dummy, still not getting the picture, until 2 ladies stopped me and flat out told me I was in the wrong place. I knew where to go from there but one of the ladies gave me directions and I just let her talk because I didn’t want to be rude. So, I take the elevator down a few floors, cross the bridge, then take the elevator back up. I finally get to the classroom, about 10 minutes late. There’s only like 4 students in this tiny classroom. Granted, it was a class for master’s students, but still tiny. I sit at the first chair when I get in and am handed a syllabus. I start reading through it. It says the final paper needs to be 15-20 pages. I sat there for about 2 minutes solely trying to decide if I wanted to be safe and just stay for the rest of the class in case I had to take it because of lack of a better option -or if there was no point in staying because there was no way I am writing a 20 page paper on something that I couldn’t care less about.
After spending a whole 4 minutes in that classroom, I announced that I came to the wrong class and skkrt skrrrted my way right out of there. I had already told the professor of Popular Religion in Taiwan (the class that I was missing), that I was not going to be able to make it, but since I wasn’t going to do anything better with my time, and it’s a class I was interested in, I decided to go. It’s far from my first class so it took me about 15 minutes to get there. I was like 30 minutes late, but the professor was excited to see me. Technically Popular Religion in Taiwan is a grad-level class as well put there were much more people in this room. Our professor lectured on Chinese zodiac and some related subjects for about an hour. After the short lecture, we took a field trip! We went to a temple that was only about a 12-minute walk away from campus. I actually talked to my professor the entire time there. I told him about my research proposal. He thought it was very interesting and mentioned that we were going to cover a Chinese medicine unit in class, so he’d try to expand on that. He also told me that if I needed any help or guidance to ask him! This just got me more excited to potentially do my Chinese medicine research. We got to the temple and it was beautiful. There was actually a celebration going on because the following day would’ve been one of the deity’s birthdays. There was a decent amount of people at the temple as well as special decorations, music, and singing!
After finishing up at the temple, I went to grab a quick lunch. I was going to go with some other CIEE people, but I needed something quick because I had less than an hour before my class…. which was also up the horrendous mountain. This is the class that I was afraid that I wasn’t going to get into. You better believe that I was in that building 20 mins. before the class was even supposed to start, I WAS NOT going to be late, which is out of character for me. About 5 minutes before class was going to start, I made my way to the classroom. It was FULL. Granted, it was another small conference room, but all 25 people that were registered for the class showed up and then some. There were only like 3 chairs available in the whole room, so I snagged one and my stuff down. I am what my mother calls a bag lady, so my backpack is always super heavy, and I can be seen carrying 10,000 things in my hands at all times. I went up to the professor and introduced myself. Y’all want to know what this man said to me? “No.” He straight up said no even though I tried to bargain with him. The class was already to full and he wasn’t going to be manually adding any students. While I was disappointed, I fully expected and mentally prepared for this, so I just went back to my room to strategize. My schedule was really riding on the class from this morning or the class that was full so of course I was frustrated. However, I’d been frustrated all week, so I was tired of stressing. I decided to just chill out until my next potential class later that day and I’d plan after I’d attended that class. So, I chill out for 4 hours, don’t even remember what I was doing. I know what I wasn’t doing. Stressing!
Boom. 3 pm hits. The contingency class is at 4. I start moving my booty getting ready to trek back down the mountain. I go to the classroom that the class is supposed to be in. I’m there like a half hour early, so I just go to the back because that’s where the only visible outlet is, and it seems like my laptop is constantly on 20%. After about 20 minutes I’m like “ok, class is starting soon, people should start showing up.” There was a sign on the door and from my rough translation- it didn’t seem like it had anything to do with my class, but I sent it to April, the CIEE coordinator anyways just to check. She confirmed that it did not, in fact, have anything to do with my class. 5 more minutes goes by and I start to panic. It’s now 5 mins. until class is supposed to start and there still wasn’t a single other soul in the room. At this point I get up, go to the hallway and start looking around. That’s when this girl comes up to me. She asks me about the class, and I tell her that we have the same questions. 5 more minutes of us trying to figure out what the heck is going on leads to nothing and now it’s technically time for class to start. Still, no one else has shown up. At this point I’m still very confused but feel better in knowing that I’m not the only dummy that showed up. I pack up my stuff and we go to the first floor to try and see if there’s anyone we can ask that knows what is going on. We can’t find anyone so, at this point, I am messaging April to see if she can find out what’s going on, and the girl I was with, Tina, is messaging her friends that were also taking the class. April finds out that the class was just straight up cancelled. She didn’t say why but I am assuming because there might have been a lack of enrollment. Anyways, Tina’s friends went up to the classroom anyways, so we went up there to meet them. One of the girls, Mae confirmed that she got an email saying the class was cancelled. However, it got sent to her NCCU email which no one checks which is why she didn’t know. I didn’t know because technically I wasn’t in the class yet so I couldn’t have gotten the email.
The 4 of us, Tina, Mae, myself, and the other girl, Monica, are all sitting in this room talking about classes and potential new choices, since we all needed to find one that would replace the one that got cancelled. I’m super hype because I just made 3 NEW FRIENDS. For some people, making new friends is a daily occurrence, but for me, it’s something that I really struggle with, so this, my friends, was a big deal. Anyways we talked about classes and where we’re from and other random stuff. I’m not going to put everyone’s business on MY blog, but I will say that Tina and Mae are both American, and Monica is from Singapore. They all live in I-house which is like a dorm for international students on lower campus. It’s nice and convenient unlike my MOUNTAIN dorm that doesn’t have a mini fridge or an included mattress. I-house has a lottery and is competitive, and my luck sucks, so I didn’t get in. After talking and them telling me about a bunch of fun I-house stuff they do and other aid for international students we parted ways. They had another class to go to, and I just went back to my room. I was so happy! Again, FRIENDS! YAY!
I get back to my dorm and do nothing for a little while, but
tonight is the night. KTV! We were going back, but this time with some of the
other CIEE students and more ambassadors. There were 10 of us in total this
time compared to last time’s 5. There were actually supposed to be more, but we
all know how people love to bail. We take the bus there around 9:30. The bus
ride wasn’t too long but it was drizzling and the walk after the bus was fairly
far. We get there start singing and ordering beer. As a part of going to KTV they give you a minimum amount that
you have to spend on food & beverage which amounted to 100 NT$ per person.
I wasn’t upset because I was going to need alcohol to drown out my lack of
pitch. In the end I ended up ordering 1 regular can of beer and 2 mango beers.
Now I definitely am not a beer person, but regular Taiwanese beer is better
than American beer and the liquor was EXPENSIVE, so I just went with it. However,
I will tell you that the mango beer I ordered was shabangin’. I
was pleasantly surprised and will be taking several of them home with me when I
leave this country. We were all singing, dancing, having a great time. Around
11 I got some wonderfully wonderful absolutely amazing fantastic news.
I got an email from Patrick (Director of Pitt’s Office of
Undergraduate Research/ my mentor & boss) offering me a 2019 Summer
Undergraduate Research award. Can y’all say BOOOOOOOYAH?? It’s actually funny
because I am writing this before I’ve even formally accepted the award. I have
to print out the form and sign it and scan it back to him. It’s a whole process
that’ll most likely be done on Sunday. Never mind that, PATRICK I ACCEPT!!!! I
was so worried what I was going to be doing over the summer because I don’t get
back until June 28th which is mid-summer in college time. Most internships and
jobs start at the beginning of June and I’m a junior who really needs something
to look good on my resume. With this grant, I’m going to be conducting research
on the cultural and religious aspects of Chinese medicine while I’m in Taiwan
and while I’m back in America. I’ve done research in the past, but never
anything having to do with a social science, never anything where I came up
with the research idea, and nothing where I am the FIRST AND ONLY AUTHOR. GO
ME!!! My research is starting at the beginning of May and ends in the beginning
of August. As of right now I’ll most likely be writing a comprehensive article
detailing all of my findings but that might change depending on what I find.
Stay tuned chickas! This is also very exciting because the award also comes
with a class over the summer so I’m getting credit, interacting with other
awardees and hearing about their projects and it gives me much more flexibility
for the summer. As of right now the plan is to stay in MD when I get home, work
on my research project, shadow my doctor, drive for uber, study for ochem in
the fall and the MCAT whenever I decide to take it, and take care of my lil
PUPPY. I am so excited for Wes! This paragraph wasn’t actually supposed to be
this long but excitement, amirite??? After I got the email I was in real disbelief
because I always doubt myself. A bad habit yes, but I was on a cloud for the
rest of the night! I shouted out that I got it and everyone said
congratulations and we sang Allstar. Truly iconic.
12:30 rolls around a we realize that we should probably go home. Buses and the train stop running at 12 so we all decided earlier that we were going to have to take cabs or ubers back to the dorms. 2 of our ambassadors didn’t live on campus so they took separate modes of transportation home, but the rest of us all live in the same place, so we were carpooling. This is where things went downhill. We leave the KTV building because we didn’t want to loiter, but it was kind of cold outside, so we were rushing. One of the ICLC kids, let’s call him Craig for the sake of me about to rip him a new one on the worldwide web, calls the first uber. His uber is something like $335 to get to the dorms. There are 8 of us so it is clear that we are going to need another uber. Why we didn’t call a cab when it could’ve possibly been cheaper? I have no idea. This is the American mindset. Anyways, the question of who else has uber pops up. I do not volunteer at all because for some reason I always get screwed over when I call the uber. This was no exception. Eventually after lots of pricing, back and forth, and people’s ubers “not working” I end up calling the other uber. My uber is about 100 NT$ more expensive than Craig’s uber. I’m not too happy about it because we’re coming and going to the same place so we should all pay the same. I come up with a bright idea. Wow! What if we just add the two uber fares together and divide by all 8 people. That is fair. That way, everyone is paying the same thing for doing the same thing. Just as we did with taking the bus to go to KTV and paying for KTV itself. No one pays for how many songs they sang. Everyone was there! So, everyone is paying the same! I apologize readers. This is a topic that still gets me riled up so there might be ranting at some points. Anyways, I suggest this while everyone is still there and no one explicitly says anything, but I was not quiet about it, I said it a few times and I saw nodding as well as eye contact. They knew! Since Craig called his uber first, it came first, and 4 people: him, my roommate, Maddie (my Bali partner) and another CIEE girl hop in. After two mistaken car identities, our uber finally comes, the remaining 4 hop in, and we’re on our way back to the dorms. While in the car I get the final quote for our uber, so I ask in the group chat how much the other uber is so that I can calculate everyone’s fare. At this point, I’m just gonna show you guys the receipts, because, DRAMA. Please excuse my language, but we’re all adults and I need to fully convey the atmosphere in order for future events to make sense. I was also tipsy so don’t mind the typos.
Ok people, first off, I’d like to say that we are literally talk about 50 cents in US dollars. CENTS! Craig here is referring to when I refused to pay for any of his 6 pack because I ordered individual beers and homie was trying to say I took from his six pack even though he was across the table and that wouldn’t have even made a lick of sense. Pay for what you drink Craig. You’re not going to boss this little black girl into doing it. I’d love to get into all the sociological concepts of men, especially white men being at the center of American society, and certain gay men (Craig is gay) thinking that certain rules don’t apply to them because they fit into one minority category, but this is not a sociology class. It’s just a blog about my life in Taiwan. Taiwan- where life does not revolve around the white man. I definitely could have handled this situation better, but I am a hothead who had 3 beers in her system. I am a person that is big on fairness and behavior. I escalated the situation, yes, but that was after I was left on read for 15 minutes because every person in that car knew they were wrong. Then Craig just made it worse my having a temper tantrum, so y’all know I had to check him. This is a battle that some people would decide not to fight, especially because it’s so minor. I didn’t really care about the money, but the concept that Craig, my roommate and the other people in the car knew what was fair but decided to disregard it for their own benefit rubs me the wrong way. I also will never let an individual talk to me that way, especially in front of other people! If you let them get away with it the first time, people will continue to walk right over you. As a young black woman, the first idea is for people to walk all over me. If you can’t tell by all the young girls that go missing in metropolitan areas and are never found because of a lack of police involvement, or the entire R. Kelly situation, people just don’t care about black women. In general, I don’t care if strangers “care” about me, but it is important that I am respected. This is a mindset that I’ve built up over the years and extremely grateful to have especially because I want to get into a career field in which black woman almost cease to exist. I MATTER. That may be a lot to draw from an argument about ubers, but it’s not the situation that matters, it the principle that it came from. Anyways, so yeah. That happened. Eventually our uber pulls up to the gate at the bottom of the mountain, but guess what? It was closed and locked with no attendant. So, we got out and trekked up the freaking mountain at 1 am. I was already mad but at this point I was hangry, mad about the situation, tired, a PLETHORA or negativity. After I had been in my room for about 10 minutes, I received a message from Maddie. She offered to pay the difference in what everyone should have paid and what she actually paid. I told her it wasn’t necessary because everyone in my car had already settled it. She told me that the pennies do add up and she completely understood where I was coming from. No one else in my car was as riled up as I was, but we’re all different. I knew what was right and s/o to my girl Maddie for making sure that I knew I wasn’t crazy or just being dramatic. After talking to her, I just went to bed and my terrible awful Thursday was finally over.
I’d just like to point out that I realize that my entire day wasn’t terrible! There were some good parts too. It was just an extremely long day, and the end of the day’s events affected the entire following week. But that’s all going to be in the Week 3 Pt. 2 and Week 4 post.
大家好!(Hello Everyone) So week 3 officially ended on Saturday/Sunday. It was a very long week in which many events occurred, so I’ve decided to split the week in half for time reasons and ease of reading. I’ve only been here for 3 weeks, but the third week, by far was the hardest. Let’s get into itttttttt.
So, at the end of week 2 I said that I couldn’t remember what I did no Sunday and that is was probably lazy. The lie detector determined that: that was a lie. It wasn’t actually a lie, but rather my inconsistent memory derping on me again. Like 2 days after writing that post I remembered that I spent the whole day SHOPPING. Since shopping is clearly a very important aspect to travel and Taiwan in general, I’ going to write a separate post about Taiwan shopping and fashion. For now, just know that I spent 7 hours shopping and I was pooped and broke afterward. That, ladies and gentlemen, was my Sunday.
MONDAY: Again: no classes on Monday. I’m pretty sure I went to the gym (gotta get buff) and then went to go teach some 7th graders English! The university that I attend is named NCCU. There’s also a NCCU affiliated high school. I’m not quite sure what the exact grade range is at this school because schools work a little differently over here, but there’s at least a bunch of 7th graders. There’s only about 10 in my class. 5 girls and 5 boys. The boys are rowdy of course, my compared to some of the other classes, they’re little angels. We played hangman with the words being US states. It was super easy because this one girl’s English is really good and the rest of them have decent English, but it was only for an hour and they seemed to have fun.
TUESDAY: Wow. Week 3 was the hardest week but Tuesday, 3/05/2019 was the hardest day I’ve had in Taiwan, YET. As I’ve mentioned before, I have a pretty mild case of social anxiety. I worry a lot and have a hard time communicating with people. I often worry about many things, not just social interactions. As a pre-med student who attends a very prestigious state-related institution, I have to compete with a lot of people and am often times told that I’m not good enough. In addition to that I am young. I am black. I am a woman. This makes me have to work x3 sometimes x4 times harder than everyone else I am usually pretty good at pushing these bad thoughts out of my head and keeping my eye on the prize. (MY MEDICAL LICENSE WOOP WOOP) But sometimes these doubts and worries get into my mind and I start to worry. At first, I thought that my worrying was fine and that my anxiety was manageable and I could figure it out on my own. This is one of my personal flaws. I think I can do everything alone without help from anyone. (This is partially due to social anxiety and thinking everyone hates me!) However, on Tuesday, I started to worry and I literally could not stop. I don’t even know how it started, but I know what it turned into. I worried about not getting into the class I wanted. I worried about where I was going to work over the summer. I applied for the research award but still hadn’t heard a reply. I wouldn’t be returning until mid-summer so finding a job: especially an internship would be near impossible. I never finished my practical so I’m still not an EMT. I’m going to be a senior and don’t know what I want to do after I graduate. I really want a puppy for graduation, but since I don’t know what I’m doing/living, I can plan for a lil’ baby. If I move away to teach, how long would it be for? Should I consider a Fullbright? My grades suck so should I get a master’s or do a post-bacc program? The MCAT is really hard, I didn’t do well in any of my science classes and I am terrible at standardized testing.
All of these negatives thoughts and more just kept coming. I left my dorm and went down the mountain to eat. Even though this stuff was going through my head I thought I could get over it and get some work done. I went to the library to see the kind of study environment that was there. Nothing I couldn’t use, but there were no outlets for me to plug my laptop into so I knew that I probably wouldn’t be there too long. I tried to get some work done but all I could do was worry about all of these things and I was on the verge of a full-blown anxiety attack. I didn’t want to break down in the middle of the library, so I decided to leave and go back to my dorm and take a nap. Sleep was the only thing that I could think of that would allow me to stop thinking/worrying so I was asleep for 3 hrs. I had Chinese class at 5 so I went to that. It surprisingly went by very quickly even though everything we were doing was review. It was fun, I really like my teacher. It was a good distraction. Afterwards, I just grabbed a quick dinner and went back to my room. I decided to be productive and do what I wanted to do earlier that day; get some work done. While this day sucked, it made me realize that I don’t think that I just have social anxiety, I think it’s just generalized anxiety all around. Part of the productivity of that night was looking into possible English-speaking therapists in Taiwan if it came to that as well as some useful techniques to help with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. (GAD) It was a goal of mine to work on myself and some of the less than pleasant aspects of myself while I am away, so that’s what I’ve been and will continue doing.
•WEDNESDAY: I had a really bad day on Tuesday as a result of me not being able to get out of my bed, I didn’t go to the gym. Since I don’t have class until 4 on Wednesdays, the gym was my #1 priority! I went to grab something small to eat so that I’d be energized for my workout. I lollygagged for about a half hour then went to the gym for 2 hours as usual and had a great workout. Now that I’m talking about, I remember sometime earlier in this week (maybe Monday?) or last week I tried to max out on squats, but again I have a hard time asking for help and I didn’t have a spotter. My legs buckled and I fell backward (you’re supposed to fall forward) so the full 170 lbs. of weight fell on my neck the crashed to the ground. It was really loud, and I just got up super quick because of course everyone was staring, and I wanted to show that I was okay. Despite getting up even though I didn’t know if I was okay, I was, in fact, okay. It was at that time that I learned that if I wanted to get stronger AND be safe, I had to ask a stranger to be my spotter. (which I did later in the week) Sometimes you don’t learn your lesson until your almost paralyze yourself! I would say that’s ok, but it’s not so always asked for a spotter, kiddos. Even strangers in the gym care about your wellbeing. As I said my actual work out on Wednesday was good. I then went back to my dorm took a shower. After that shower I went to a potential class in case the schedule I wanted didn’t work out. There’s no real point into saying much about this class because I didn’t end up actually registering but I thought it was worth a mention. The whole process will be explianed in Week 3 Pt. 2.
• Before the class that I was actually registered for, I decided to check out the activities fair. Unfortunately, the sun was out, and the weather was beautiful on Tuesday- the day that I spent mostly indoors. On Wednesday it was rainy and sad. I decided to check out the activities fair (which as outside) anyways because I’d been talking about potential clubs and activities for weeks because I need something to do with my free time. I looked at cheerleading club, but unfortunately, I had class during practice time, so I didn’t ask for too much information from them. I talked to ballroom dance club, Animal health club, and a children’s camp club. I got some flyers (all in Chinese) that I just sent to my CIEE buddies and they helped to translate them. Ballroom dance is self-explanatory. The Animal Health club goes to veterinary clinics a few times over the course of the semester and helps stray dogs and cats to get neutered and spayed. Help as in actually aid in surgery and recovery. (We love a country that lets untrained students with a simple love of animals, aid in surgical procedures) Their welcome party was next Thursday though, so I had some time for that one. I found out that the kid’s camp club was primarily done over the summer, so I decided to drop that idea because I’m already going to be busy and not even present for the entire summer. I had a good time at the fair and eventually and went to my Social Media and the Digital Narrative class. I didn’t read the reading which actually was not relevant nor necessary to the class that week. We got assigned groups, so I met some people that I haven’t seen outside of class but if I do hopefully I’ll have the guts to say hi. It was boring, I barely paid attention but still rose my hand and said something very general about the one part of the movie that I listened to. This has been working well so far because my professor knows my name (and likes me maybe?) because I participate more than most even though I’m never on task. This trick usually works with most professors in most classes. In my 6 semesters, it has proven to be one of my most useful tools. Wednesday night I went to Ballroom dancing club and had a blast! Took 2.5 hours to learn to short and very simple routines, but idk, you guys might see me on the next season of World of Dance. Derek Hough, I AM COMING FOR YOU.
Me this week as expressed by the one and only: Derek Hough
College tip: DO NOT answer right or wrong questions out loud. (whisper it or tell your friend next to you.) A professor isn’t going to remember that you answered “yes” or a multiple-choice question, or a calculation correctly. If there is a right answer, it is usually expected that you get the right answer. It’s not surprising or impressive. Instead you should participate in discussions: where anything you say will sound insightful. The professor will just build on it or reword it to something similar that makes sense even if what you said had nothing to do with the discussion or is completely incoherent. It’s always a win.
Well this is the end of the beginning of my terrible awful week, but more is on its way!